I was reading Helene’s blog, “I’m Living Proof That God Has a Sense of Humor”
When I found out I was pregnant with Rachel, it was nothing less than a shock. After all, I was a self-described career woman, a single mother to my (then) 10 year old, and firmly planted in my 30s.
When I was younger, I used to say I wanted 3 children, or be done by the time I was 30. Right. Mmmm-hmmmm. God has an incredible sense of humor, or like my husband says, maybe he just didn’t hear me right!
I do think it has been a huge adjustment for Abby, and bless her heart, I’ll admit that I haven’t had a clue as to how to help her handle it.
When I sat her down, and told her I was pregnant, she cried her eyes out. Who could blame her?? She suddenly went from the only child, for 10 years, to having to share the limelight with another child; not to mention sharing her mother with a new baby, as well as new stepfather. (run on sentence, much?)
I told her then that having a brother or sister was a great thing …. someone to talk to, to share things with, to laugh together. She didn’t buy it. She also was only minimally impressed with the bag of clothing I had bought for her that day as well. (hey — I’m not above bribing my children, when need be. )
Since then, I think she’s handled it pretty well ….. Rachel adores her, as I told Abby she would, long before Rachel was born. I’m sure Rachel annoys Abby, but Abby is never too busy to stop and give Rachel a kiss, when her little sister asks for some “wubbin”. Rachel will frequently ask where Abby is, and the other day, I got a big kick out of the two girls sitting together, watching Grease!!
When I got pregnant with the boys, Abby’s first response was, “Oh no, not again! You’re mean when you are pregnant!” (hmm …. who, me???) She was not thrilled about the prospect of another baby in the house, but she wanted another girl. (why, I have no idea!!)
When we found out we were having twins, she was pretty surprised (as we all were), but she didn’t verbalize a lot to me. She thought we were crazy for not finding out what the gender of the babies were. It was pretty stressful in my house during the pregnancy — I worried so much about the babies, I honestly didn’t have a lot of time for my girls.
She wasn’t as comfortable with the boys as she was with Rachel early on, and I’m not sure if it was because they were a bit smaller, or if it’s because they were boys, or what. They LOVE her, as well as Rachel. And no …. she is NOT a built in baby sitter. I expect her to help, when I ask her, but it is NOT her primary job.
2) You must get a lot of stares and comments from strangers because of your large family, like I do. What’s the strangest reaction you’ve gotten?
I don’t get strange comments, per se, but rather the same things over, and over, and over ……
Like: “Oh, have you seen that show, John and Kate Plus 8?” Hmm … well, I do not have cable, and if I did, I really wouldn’t waste my time with that show.
“Are they twins??”
Yes, and they are boys, and they are identical. Yes, I’m sure. One placenta. It’s like one apartment, with 2 beds.
“How do you tell them apart?”We used to write their initials on their feet with a Sharpie when they were younger. Now, I can tell them apart, both by their looks, as well as their personalities. Plus, Thomas has a birthmark.
“Were they natural?”
As opposed to un-natural?? Whatever. If it is a random stranger’s business regarding my fertility ….. these babies were conceived without the assistance of fertility drugs/modalities, etc. I’ll keep the details of intercourse private, thanks.
“Boy, you’ve got your hands full!!”
Yes, I certainly do. Feel free to pitch in and help.
“Do you get ANY sleep?”
Not more than about 90 minutes at a time. We don’t believe in cry-it-out here.
“Are they good babies?”
This was the strangest one … no doubt. I looked at the lady like she had 2 heads, and told her that all of my children were good.
“Boy, I remember those days!”This was said to me as I was pushing the big ole double stroller through Wal-Mart, and pulling the grocery cart (with Rachel) along behind me. I wanted to stop and say, “Seriously??? YOU (man with a small son) took 3 children under the age of three to the grocery store ALONE, and lived to tell about it?? Give me a break.” No …. I did NOT say that to this poor man … I only wanted to.
“How do you do it??”
I got this question at Cracker Barrel the other day ….unfortunately for the poor fellow that asked me, I was tired and strung out. I answered, “Well, I can’t very well sit them out at the curb, now can I?” My poor husband about fell over. Sorry …. it was a case of slipped snippiness.
And …. my favorite …
“You have a beautiful family.”, or “What beautiful children!”
3) What is your biggest fear in life? Losing my husband, or one of my children. I would be totally and completely lost without them.
4) If you could pass on any advice to your children when they become parents, what would it be?
RELAX, and follow your heart. Keep your babies close to you as long as you can, and cherish those ‘tiny moments’. Carry your babies around, love on them, and if they only sleep with you, who cares?? It will be a small part of your over all life. Don’t listen to people who tell you that you are spoiling your baby.
Oh, and CALL ME. If you are in the same town, expect that I will be there to help … a LOT!!
5) An anonymous check worth $1,000,000 comes in the mail and it’s addressed to you. What would you do with the money?
— Give money to my church’s building fund
— Buy a home in Cherokee Park … if we stayed in our area. Otherwise, we would move SOUTH, probably to Tampa
— Invest money for my children’s college funds
— Take my husband and children on a vacation!!